I had another bout of anxiety-induced insomnia last night. It comes and goes, but it’s been becoming far more common these past few weeks.
We’ve all been there – trying fruitlessly to force yourself to fall asleep, but that nagging voice in the back of your head keeps fluttering through worries about the future or embarrassing moments from your past – the relatable first-world curse of living in a post-modern capitalist hell-scape.
Last night was different, though. I had been paradoxically trying to force myself to relax and get what was left of my eight hours, but my mind was far too caught up teeming with anxious predilections of the future. Rather than the common ritual of worrying about an array of life issues, I was instead dead-focused on what the hell is happening in the UK for trans people right now.
Eventually, my fears got the better of me. I took it upon myself to shuffle out of bed where my partner was sleeping, walk to the bathroom, ball up and cry. I don’t know whether it was the release of emotions or the physical strain of breaking down to the tune of the extractor fan’s laboured hum, but I slept like a log after that.
I’ve never broken down over a court ruling on legal definitions before, but if you have been following even a snippet of the news since the UK Supreme Court declared that women and sex refer to “biological women” and “biological sex” in the 2010 Equality Act, you’ll, I hope, understand why this is so overwhelming.
Since the ruling was shared on 16 April, the government, the NHS, the EHRC, and all the transphobic naysayers who litter the internet have been ruthless in celebrating the systematic denial of a marginalised community, as though court judge Lord Hodge had magically solved that nasty gender problem by clicking his fingers and making trans people disappear.
Well, I’ve got news for you. We didn’t disappear. We are still here – and we are watching.
We watched as the prime minister signalled his support for the ruling as though that bothersome weight of tolerance had been lifted from his shoulders. We watched as our spineless health secretary Wes Streeting had the gall to say that those who know trans women to be women and trans men to be men should have the “humility” to say they were wrong.
We’re watching now as the EHRC argues that trans people should not just be banned from using public toilets that correctly reflect their gender, but possibly from using any gendered toilets whatsoever.
This was my breaking point. As morally bankrupt an organisation as I find the EHRC to be, its influence over human rights legislation in this country mean that this guidance, one way or another, will be used as justification for policies or even laws that will affect my right to use the bathroom in public.
I want you to really think about that for a second. Let’s use a hypothetical to emphasise how scary this is – you are in an airport terminal when you’ve just discovered that your flight has been delayed for at least four hours. You’ve just had lunch and will, at some point, almost definitely need to use the bathroom. You discover, however, that the disabled toilets – the only gender-neutral toilets in the terminal – are blocked and out of order. Really put yourself in that position. You’d be forced either to break the law, risk harassment and abuse or else, what, suffer the indignity of wetting yourself?
If that doesn’t get the point across, there are so many other examples of how dehumanising this is for trans people. Trans people working in offices could be forced to hold it in for the entire work day, a toilet break during a night out drinking would be out of the question, and hospital stays could be actual torture.
All of this is designed to keep us out of public life and out of the way of people who feel “uncomfortable” around us. It was what had me up until 4am crying on the bathroom floor, because my life and the human rights that come with it are suddenly being shredded over nothing. Nothing at all.
I had an epiphany during that night. After worrying whether I would even be able to publicly transition anymore, I made the simple decision to live freely. I am done having my life dictated by the ignorant and pathetic opinions of a few measly elites. I am done worrying whether the people around with me agree with them or if they even give a s**t about my identity.
I have watched some of the greatest, kindest, loveliest people I know break down at the government’s continued attacks on us and I am so very done.
I know they probably won’t read this. People like Wes Streeting are too busy carelessly dismissing the lives of people to actually listen to what they have to say, so I am saying this to anyone else lying down on the bathroom floors and crying over their right to live authentically – you are better than Keir Starmer. You are better than Kishwer Falkner. You are better than Rosie Duffield. You are so much better than Wes Streeting. Your life is not a f**king chess game.
If the government want to outlaw our right to exist, then don’t be surprised when we continue to exist outside of the law. If they think they can shove us back in the closet, they have another thing coming.
The post ‘This government will never succeed in shoving trans people back in the closet’ appeared first on PinkNews | Latest lesbian, gay, bi and trans news | LGBTQ+ news.