Back when Steps were formed, Ian “H” Watkins didn’t feel he could be himself. “I was too scared,” he admits.
But things were different even in the mid to late 90s. Being an out gay man could have meant the end of a career in entertainment – certainly fewer opportunities. “Back then, you had to be single, straight, available,” Ian says. “I was living in this dark box and I couldn’t get out of it.
“Since I have come out publicly, I feel I’ve got a lot of making up to do. I felt really embarrassed and I felt I needed to make amends with my old self.”
Taking a second, the singer considers what he would have done differently. “The way I use my platform today is the way I would… I should have used it back then. But I’m making amends for it now.”
And now he’s got a new venture to add to his already-well-strung bow. Pride & The Rainbow Warriors is Watkins’ first children’s book.
The book, “a love letter to my younger self,” teaches children about the origins of Pride and the Pride flag, as well as about inclusion. Each of the characters is based on one of the seven Pride flag colours and the traits those represent.
“It’s something I wanted to do for a long time,” says Watkins as we discuss the new book. “If I had a book like this when I was growing up, I wouldn’t have felt so isolated. I would have had courage, a safe place, I would have found like-minded people.”
But he also wants his children, Macsen and Cybi, who lend their names to two of the characters, to grow up in – and foster – a kinder world.
For Watkins, including LGBTQ+ history was essential. “People just assume that rainbows appeared one day out of nowhere but [they had] an origin, a history. And we [are] allowed to live our authentic lives today because of those trailblazers decades ago. I think a lot of young LGBTQI+ people take that for granted today.”
It was also important that the book be accessible. It doesn’t go into sexuality or gender, its focus is on inclusion and celebrating difference, regardless of what that looks like. It’s been a labour of love for the singer.
“Teaching about the importance of Pride, why we have Pride, who can celebrate Pride, the origins of Pride, I feel so proud that my children have turned into beautiful accepting human beings,” he says. “It’s about kindness, awareness, education and celebration and my kids have all of that in spades. It’s really lovely to see.”
And this is just the beginning. Watkins hints at new volumes, focusing on a different Rainbow Warrior, for each coming year. There’s also talk of animations, which excites a characteristically excited Watkins.
His ability to distil what can be quite complex and meaty ideas and conversations down to simple bitesize bits of information is surely a benefit in a world becoming increasingly bothered with language. It has the potential to start conversations but also equip people with the language to have some of those discussions.
This is certainly the author’s hope. “I compare it to when I danced with Matt [Evers] on Dancing on Ice. We weren’t on a prime-time TV show snogging in front of millions of people. We were just two guys dancing together. That started conversations.
“Little Johnny in the deep, dark depths of Wales could see that on television and feel seen, and those little ripples make big waves of kindness. That’s why this book is so important to me. Maybe somebody will pick [it] up and didn’t know they were an ally, but they have been all along.”
At the heart of Pride & The Rainbow Warriors is the message that being different is one’s superpower. But it’s difficult to avoid the context in which this book has been published, with LGBTQ+ rights under attack all over the world.
“There are very powerful people trying to erase us,” says Watkins. “We’ve always existed, we always will exist. Pride is a safe space that allows you to be open about yourself without being judged by anybody, and you can celebrate what makes you unique. That’s exactly what it’s about, and it’s a big middle finger to the bigot.”
Pride & The Rainbow Warriors is out now.
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