The queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race did not come to play with their blue carpet finale lewks that are equal parts sickening and splashy – here’s the review.
Ten eliminated queens, two dips for Michelle Visage in the Badonka Dunk Tank and one set of stolen Roast jokes later, season 17 of RuPaul’s Drag Race has reached its grand finale – with one of its top four queens set to become America’s Next Drag Superstar.
The finale has filmed, which means that the queens have already descended upon a blue carpet (to keep within the season’s splashy theme), and a top two (presumably) has been decided, complete with multiple endings.
But until the next Drag Race winner is crowned this Saturday (19 April), here’s what we think of all the finale lewks – the good, the bad and the dunk-worthy.
Lucky Starzzz
It really is such a shame that Lucky went so early, and didn’t get to showcase nearly any of her lewks, because if this finale extravaganza is anything to go by, her runways would have been a treat.
It’s just really cool, and even though the actual black velbet gown is on the simple side, and (don’t shoot us), looks a little bit unfinished, the rest of it is obviously the star(zzz) of the show.
Outta this world, hunty. Soft toot.
Joella
The phrase often goes, ‘Unafraid to reference or not reference,’ but sometimes maybe we should be afraid to reference.
Joella’s look is a redo of her quilted runway (which was literally just a quilt with RuPaul with a botched nose job on the back), and it’s fun, it’s camp, but it’s not that nice to look at.
Still, you cannot deny that Joella is an icon in her local scene, and her looks are known to be opulent. She just left those looks at home. Don’t forget the Ella, y’all. Boot.
Hormona Lisa
Love the hair with the colours of the trans flag, love the makeup. Full stop.
Is what we would write if we didn’t have to give a bit more commentary! The ruffle is too big but the iridescent fabric is cool. Not sure what the paillettes on the piece of fabric draped round her arms that appears to be a very flat boa are doing either.
Overal, just not sure what this says about ar Hormona. Boot.
Crystal Envy
It’s cool, it’s sleek, it’s c*nty, it’s Crystal! Love the cutouts and the draping of the black velvet, but the corset part could be slightly larger to counteract the weird fit it is on her.
Not that much more to say apart from her breast contour makes it look like her tiddies are ever so far apart. A soft toot.
Acacia Forgot
There is a lot going on, but we kind of live? Gorgeous cream colour, lovely quaffed up do, yards upon yards of fabric, the blue and yellow working together nicely.
It’s very impressive to have that much fabric and still maintain a snatched waist, so points for that, but my word that blush is really there isn’t it.
Also, are those forget-me-not flowers? Clever. Toot.
Kori King
We’re disappointed that Kori King showed up rather than Kori Toot, Kori Griffin or Kori Jackson, but given the circumstances, this c*nty Power Rangers villain look eats.
The pink colour looks unreal on her skin tone, the mug is stamped and the hair is right – but those gloves are really cutting off that circulation, aren’t they.
Also, the detail of having your two middle nails shorter than the rest is iconic. Kori King is for the lesbians. And we toot her.
Arrietty
A not-so-subtle dig at Michelle’s comment about her makeup looking like it was out of Cats, Arrietty really said, ‘This is how you do puss at a Drag Race finale.’
The prosthetics are cool and freaky, and the monochromatic theme for the look is a gorgeous scarlet – and we’re sure we can’t see many of the details that are actually there.
Still, would it be a crime for us to say that it’s just not what we expected – and definitely not our favourite Arrietty look of the season? Toot, though. We think.
Lydia B. Kollins
When we think of Lydia, we think of absolutely wacko looks – and this just isn’t giving us that! Is the garment gorgeous? Yes. Does it look like weird crystallised broken-then-pieced-together armour? Also yes!
But is the boa completely random to the look and the bottom half kind of plain? We fear the answer is yes.
It’s fierce, we just expected something weirder, you know? It’s like a really unexpectedly soft toot for Lydia. Wonder when we’ll next see her!
Lana Ja’Rae
Very new and unique for Lana!
The lilac into rose colour scheme, the ruffles, the Star Wars Princess-esque hood, even the sleep mask on a stick. It’s couture with a touch of camp – but points must be docked for that pleaser with such a dreamy outfit.
Still, loving this pastel goddess lewk on Miss Lana. But is it so wrong that we wanted some lingerie? Toot!
Suzie Toot
Susan Tooth you have done it again. We just love this Little Shop of Horrors Audrey II reference, we love that it ties into Suzie’s famously safe Snatch Game performance and we love that it also depicts how Suzie was eating the girls up all season.
Also, those aren’t her arms! Her arms are in the tentacles! Theatre kid slay. Colour scheme is gorge, hair colour is gorge, makeup is gorge.
This is a Suzie motherf**king Toot.
Sam Star
We’re gonna say it. We do not like this look!
We get that Samuel is going for the American theme with the cowboy nods, but anyone who knows who Donald Trump is should be tired of that by now.
The colour scheme is great and Sam’s hair is always going to be right, but the giant hat is wearing her, and the odd height at which the dress trumpets out makes her look tiny in a really strange way. Sorry Sam, but boot.
Lexi Love
We love a callback, we love a nearly naked moment, we love flowers almost as much as Miley Cyrus; Lexi Love in this floral Victoria’s Secret lewk is fierce, boots.
The importance of Lexi Love being so out and proud in her trans truth in Trump’s America is not lost on us – but with even that aside, it’s a fierce finale moment. Also, this blonde hair on Lexi? To die for.
We absolutely Lexi love this look! Toot.
Jewels Sparkles
No Drag Race finale would be complete without a massive f**koff gown – and this one is Princess Peach meets Ariana Grande meets Lana Del Rey meets Priscilla Presley meets c*nt.
This look is literally insane, and fits right into the overarching canon of Jewels’ work, but the weird taper at the bottom of the corset into the giant (giant!) dress makes her torso look a very strange length.
Regardless, Toot with a capital T.
Onya Nurve
Onya may not have been on our nerves but my word, she has her foot on these b*tches necks all season – and this garment is no exception.
The colours! The artistry of the head and shoulder piece! The hair poking out! She’s the queen bee, honey.
The only thing we can dock points for is that the bottom of the train seems strangely plain in comparison to the rest of the garment. But what do we know, she’s Onya Nurve.
With a fearsome track record each, the showdown for the crown is sure to be the splashiest yet – and for those who can’t stand not having new Drag Race to watch, never fear, All Stars 10 is almost here.
The season 17 RuPaul’s Drag Race finale airs Friday on MTV in the US and WOWPresents Plus internationally.
Share your thoughts! Let us know in the comments below, and remember to keep the conversation respectful.
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