Billionaire Barry Diller has spoken publicly about his relationships with men both prior to and during his 50-year relationship with the fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg.
Diller, 83, married the 78-year-old designer in 2001 after first meeting in 1974. They had separated for a time in 1981 before reuniting ten years later.
In an essay for New York Magazine, ahead of the release of his memoir Who Knew?, Diller, who doesn’t precisely define his sexuality, started: “While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman, and she didn’t come into my life until I was 33 years old.”
Diller describes his relationship with von Furstenberg as “complicated” referencing a seeming indifference to one another in their first encounter before a romance blossomed.
“I have never questioned my sexuality’s basic authority over my life (I was only afraid of the reaction of others),” Diller continued. “And when my romance with Diane began, I never questioned that its biological imperative was as strong in its heterosexuality as its opposite had been. When it happened, my initial response was ‘Who knew?’”
In the essay Diller recognised the “confusion” and speculation his relationship with the Belgian designer has caused. But he said the relationship has always been “as natural to us as breathing.”
After meeting von Furstenberg at a New York dinner, the two quickly developed a fierce relationship.
But the former Paramount executive admitted to feeling like “a deer caught in the headlights” and struggling after bottling everything up for so long.
Discussing his early success at Paramount helping to green light such films as Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark and Grease Diller wrote that “I had found ways to find men.”
First, there was cruising the streets of West Hollywood before a trip to Fire Island (which he describes as a ghetto). And despite his business success the IAC chairman said that “fear of exposure still had a tyrannical hold on me, so much so that it stunted any chance of my having a fulfilling personal life.”
Diller described compartmentalising his life as a way to deal with his fears and sexuality.
He lamented: “I had no core at all, other than to please those who needed pleasing.” And even though he said he never discussed his private life he knew then that “everyone knows.”
Diller went on to say: “I hated having to live a pretend life, one that was totally silent on all the topics normal people talked about with each other. Of course I could have declared my sexuality, come out as some others were doing, but I was among the many at that time who were too scared to do so.”
He listed a “Bill of Rights” he gave himself including never being a hypocrite, never pretending, and that “I wouldn’t do a single thing to make anyone believe I was living a heterosexual life.” He described this now as “the opposite of courage.”
Closing the essay, Diller said his relationship with von Furstenberg was “an explosion of passion that kept up for years.”
He continued: “And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane.” He added that “In some cosmic way we were destined for each other.”
Diller also recognised that “today, sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century,” and that “I’ve always thought that you never really know about anyone else’s relationships.”
In a statement to Page Six, von Furstenberg’s representative said in response to the essay: “The secret of honoring love and life is to never lie!”
Neither Diller or von Furstenberg have filed for divorce. They share no children together though von Furstenberg has two children – Prince Alexander and Tatiana – with her first husband, Prince Egon von Fürstenberg.
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